And then someone ask what’s wrong
I never feel loved ever around here…..that’s why I try to love my body the way it is.. But my life is so fucked up that I can’t tell myself that everything is perfect anymore…. I don’t EVER EVER EVER want to eat again. I’m tired of the jokes that leave me crying. I’m tired of being anti-social because of my weight. I’m tired of the boys looking past me. I’m tired of my mom and sister telling me what to wear……but what they don’t know is that I’m tired of not wearing what I want to wear because I look disgusting in it. I’m tired of the yelling, tears, and sadness…..so again I say…. FUCK THIS! I’m ready to not hear the jokes anymore. Ready to be social. Ready to wear what I want. Ready to look like what I want. Ready to make those boys that looked past me jealous and regret that they never scooped me up when they had the chance.
To me and many others the summer road in between 8th grade to 9th grade, middle school to high school, is when you can start over. When your friends come back with completly changed looks, style, personality, anything. This is the time for a fresh start…..so I’m going to start and when I finish…….I’ll be ready to prove them all wrong.